Need

 

Thirst consumed me.

In all my life, I'd never felt this thirsty.

There I stood in front of all those precious women,

and the only thing that stood between my glass of water and me was ...

the podium.

 

The appendectomy

and the infection that had spread

 throughout my abdomen had weakened me

the two weeks prior to this speaking engagement.

But I determined, by God's grace,

not to give the enemy victory.

 

After being handed a microphone

that I would hold throughout the presentation,

my first thought was:

everyone will see my hand shaking.

Instead,

my right hip muscle decided to go spastic.

 

It was hilarious, really.

Had I not been advised -

 "never tell people you are nervous,"

I would have shared it.

It deserved a good laugh.

 

Halfway through the presentation,

the thirst crept in.

I looked across the podium to see my water glass.

I gazed.
I needed.
I thirsted.

I paused.
 

In those moments that would lapse by,
I thought I might collapse.

 

And I wondered ...

do I ask for someone to bring it to me?
Do I place this microphone down
and go get it?

I didn't.

 

 

Why? 

 

There are things we need and never ask for.

Why don't we ask?

 

We don't feel deserving.

I blamed myself

for not taking a water bottle to the podium with me.

I should have known better, I told myself.

 

We don't want to be a bother.

Much had already been given.

Was it really important

in the big scheme of things?

 

Fear.

I was afraid if I stopped mid-presentation,

in my weakened condition,

I might stumble over my words ...

get side-tracked.

 

 The need feels out of reach.

It was right there in front of me ...

I could see it ...

But I couldn't reach it.

 

When we don't feel deserving ...

When we dread being bothersome ...

When we aren't brave enough to ask ...

When we think something is out of reach ...

 

Remember:

 

"... your Father knows
what you need before you ask him."
Matthew 6:8
 

Doubts, insignificance, fears, timidity -

in spite of my sundry weaknesses,
the Lord replenished my thirst.

He knew my need.

As I poured out my heart to those precious women,
He poured in.

The thirst passed.

I was enabled to press on.
He made me strong.

"Jesus answered,

'Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again,  

but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.

Indeed, the water I give them

will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.'"

John 4: 13-14
 

We are but a vapor in need of a downpour of Jesus.