Company would be arriving soon.
I evaluated the dishes through the dirty glass. Evaluating my options, I saw the good, and I saw the broken. Through my distorted lens.
I opened the door and reached inside the cabinet.
My fingertip circled the the porcelain edges, settling and lodging into the chipped surface, and I thought not to use that piece. Another dish had been pieced and glued back together. No good.
Cracks and lines showing. Stained.
They weren't good enough to use. They weren't presentable. I'd been told that all my life. Someone could get injured. Someone would be embarrassed.
Use the good. Use the best. Act as though you're serving the King.
My heart sank low. What if God never used the broken? What if we embarrassed him? What if He kept the damaged hidden away? Because of the way that it looked or the way that it felt.
I've felt it all my life—I'm fake. I'm not whole, not good enough, not proper enough. I'm not deserving. I'm an embarrassment.
To those who aren't broken.
Don't pick me. Don't use me. Don't raise your hand. Don't share your faith. Don't put her on display. She's broken. You're broken.
Shelli, you're broken.
Your family can't be this or can't be that because ... you're broken.
She might hurt others. Being rough around the edges could hurt someone, inflict slight injury. They might think it's okay to be broken.
Fractures and chips chisel character into your life, like a vintage home's crown molding.
And If the cracks cause others to bleed, maybe they need my broken and binding, too. You leave that to me. God whispered—maybe I know what I'm doing.
O Soul Within, who are you to judge who can and can't be used? Don't judge yourself, Shelli. Don't bully yourself.
God sees all. The glass is never too dirty for Him to see. He's sees the broken and unbroken.
And He reaches for you.
He sees you from a distance, and He sees you magnified. God sees the whole picture.
He sees the lines, He feels the cracks, and He still takes you by the hand.
Because what is real? Real is what you have to give. What I feel ... what I see ... me.
When the brokenness causes a resemblance to Him—broken like Jesus—place out the fractured, chipped, and the glued. Set the table.
His is the company we seek to please. We're serving the King.
Gratefulness in my heart had awoken.
We serve a God who uses the broken.