God, what are you doing with my life?
"Do you want to go?"
"Yes, of course."
My curiosity soars. My novel, work-in-continual-progress, has a scene in this very location. I'd love to go. I need to go. I need to get inside my characters' heads more, know their hearts. Plant my feet where they planted theirs.
We pass Greenville, Texas, heading into Commerce—my novel's setting and the city I have grown to love. "There's Karalee's school," I say. Wonder where she's at? What's she doing? Hard to believe my oldest daughter is there and I'm here. This thing called change is interesting. Our hearts are so intertwined that I feel present with her all the time. Rejoice when she rejoices. Cry when she cries.
We proceed out toward the state park, passing farm after farm. Beautiful Texas, always beautiful to this Texan.
I gasp. A city limit sign announces "Posey" ... Posey, Texas. My heart claps. That's part of my itty-bitty character's nickname. I missed that detail on Google Earth. Wow. Unbelievable.
God, you've got this thing covered. I know you do. And you're showing me the signs. Thank you.
We park the vehicle.
My youngest steps out, branches out, and begins exploring. The one who's seen devastating hardship. My cancer survivor. She's discovering shells along the water's edge. She's found her niche.
Have I found my niche? I think so.
My feet hit the ground. I pivot, absorbing the surrounding beauty, standing right where my characters stood. Building their imaginary lives has been sweet. They've so obediently taken each action I've required of them. Walked when I needed them to walk, erased what I needed them to erase, built what I needed them to build.
God, you stood right where I'm standing. You made all things, and you came here—living, serving, loving, building, accomplishing, finishing—to know me inside out. To know your creation, your people.
"I could stay here all day," my daughter says, beaming.
Stay here all day. That's it. I made the connection.
God, sometimes I'm slow, but I made the connection.
Walk out on the water. Go exploring. Discover the growth. Through the difficult, the scary, the times of ease, the times of beauty, times of uncertainty, times of seasonal change ...
When you don't know what God is doing, do what you love.
He's given you love. O Soul Within, find what you love. Do what you love. Continue doing what you love. He gave you a heart, to please, to love, to obey, to build, to follow, to lead, to accomplish, to do the thing He's called you to.
Step in character with whom God made you to be, into the very shoes He designed for you.
Change is never easy ... but proceed.
So ask the hard questions. Get inside God's head. Yearn to know His heart.
You are His and He is yours, intertwined. He's where you are. He rejoices when you rejoice; He surely cries when you cry.
Find that place—with Him—where you could stay all day. The place to do the living and dying. The place to type—The Beginning and The End.
Do you want to go?
How has God been speaking to your heart?